dating advice for women over 40

Dating Advice For Women Over 40–40s Is The New 20s

By Noell Romatowski

Am I too old for this? Should I just give in and become the cat lady? The Dating Bliss has some fun and inspiring dating advice for women over 40. Explore this article, as dating can be bliss even after 40 ladies!

Dating Advice For Women Over 40

The hard reality is, meeting men and dating is not easy, especially after 40. Going out to the dance club or a bar every weekend really isn’t option or what most of us want to spend our precious time doing.

Your social network of friends and ability to go out socially isn’t like it was when you were 21 or 30.

Life has to be balanced now by career, possibly children, their activities and finding time for you too.

Dating someone at your work place isn’t the best idea as we all know or may even have experienced for ourselves.

Please ladies,don’t think you are ever too old to join dating sites and apps! Dating apps and sites are the fastest growing segment among people over 40 and 50 years of age.


Girl, You Still Got It

Don’t think your life after 40 is about laying in your yoga pants and watching Grace and Frankie on Netflix with your dog or cat.

It’s hard, as we think it so competitive with younger women and the dating apps and sites create the mind set there is something better around the corner.

This subject is near and dear to my heart, as you know being a 42-year-old single female, trying to learn and figure this dating world out too! It’s freaking hard!!

Dating may not be the same as when you were 25,but with some dating advice below, it may help soothe your mind and make you feel not so overwhelmed in the dating process.

The Date

Know that every date isn’t going to bring prince charming riding in on his white horse to sweep off your feet and you can go tell all your friends. There is going to be some good dates and some not so good ones.

Just embrace that fact,as those not good ones,are just making you get one step closer to a good date.

Deal breakers

What you wanted and what your deal breakers were in your 20s, 30s and 40s all evolve.

Check out my article 10 top deal breakers in dating can help you align on what your deal breakers are now in your 40s.

It’s important to know your deal breakers even before you start thinking about entering into the dating world. If you don’t want to date someone who has kids or specific religion it’s critical to know up front so you don’t waste either of your time.


Be open minded not only one “type” of person you like or normally date. I am not saying opposite attract as I don’t necessarily believe in that,but keep an open mind on potential of someone.

The diamond in the rough so they say! Who knows,you could be surprised who you meet or be attracted to if your mind it open.

I found out in my 40s that I am sapiosexual , attracted an intelligent man, which I would’ve never looked for anyone like that in my 20s or known that about myself!

That is huge advantage in our 40s is narrowing down and knowing what you want.

Power Of Vulnerability

In order to truly put yourself out there, when you are ready of course, is to show a bit of vulnerability. Emotions, questions, and express how we feel or who we really are can be extremely hard.

I am not saying have diarrhea of the mouth in the first date where he gets to the point of not showing back up to the table to finish the date, but you do have to show some emotions and vulnerability.

Think of all that you may learn in another persons view.

Safety First

The online dating world is scary! You have to really take your time to get to know the person you are speaking to.

Now with social media, background check companies, do check out the person you are talking to.

Meet in public places the first few dates. Drive your own car just in case the date isn’t going well you have your own get away!

Set Boundaries

From the very first conversations to the first date, set your boundaries! If you don’t it’s a recipe for disaster!

What will and won’t you tolerate and stick your guns!

Save The Skin For Later

Ladies we are in our 40s now that doesn’t mean we have to cover up with Muumuu’s! Muumuu’s shouldn’t be worn by anyone, but that’s another article LOL

We should NOT be wearing crop tops and short mini skirts either.

I know there are plenty of 40 year old women with JLo like incredible bodies, but it’s not probably the best way to be taken seriously by showing too much skin!

Leave a little mystery and desire to the male mind!


Bitter Betty

We all know those friends that constantly complain about the crow’s feet, wrinkles and the horrible signs of aging. Don’t be a Bitter Betty!

This for sure will not help you in your search for a healthy, happy man in your life. You will attract your own Bitter Bob!

Be Ready

A lot of women in there 40s have always been in relationships and or licking their wounds from past ones.

Take some time for yourself and really be focused before you head out the door on a date.

Self Care

Dye your hair, do your nails and toes, work out at the gym, meditate and journal! What ever makes you feel good about you..DO IT!

Self care will reflect in how you show up to dating. Let’s show them ladies! It’s all up hill after 40!

Don’t Put All Your Eggs In One Basket

Spread your wings when it comes to your dating search. Don’t just sign up to one dating site or app. In addition, don’t think the man has to do all the contacting or waiting on reply from just one person.

In Huffington post article, Men are three times more likely to find a woman of interest the first time out than a woman.

Give yourself opportunity to really see what’s out there!

Don’t Ever Ever Settle

OMG I don’t know how many have heard,”You are being too picky. I think you just need to bring your standards and settle.” DON’T EVER EVER SETTLE.

I get it we think we have to be settled in our 40s and societal pressure to do so.

Hold out for someone you truly connect with and love. I know I am as life is short and I didn’t wait this long not too!

Kids, Kids, Kids

Kids are amazing! The last thing though on a date you want to do is talk constantly about your kids. You need to have other interests and a life outside of them too.

The date and dating is about you for the first couple of dates than share more and more about children.


Bring your A game ladies! Yes, we all have history,but save it for later dates.

I had a date with a man who discussed his custody battle with his ex and showed me the papers on a date! It was so uncomfortable! I wanted to crawl under the table and run!

Alone Time

I will say one thing to women who are especially coming out a relationship or divorce that you were in for years, take time for you.

Take time to be alone and find out who you are. It’s so important so you don’t fall back into comfortable space or patterns.

Dating Apps

When dating apps first came out there were for younger crowd. Now there are dating apps coming out it seems on daily basis for people of all ages.

This article, Dating Apps In 2018 ,may help you to find one that fits you. They aren’t for just hook ups anymore.

Take A Break

Know when it is time to take a break from dating sites, apps or just dating in general.

Take time to regroup and get back into it with a clear mind.

Support System

Rejection hurts and it can take a toll on your self-esteem. Get support that you need to help work through your feelings especially if dating hasn’t been happening the way you like.

Don’t hesitate to reach out to your support system or recruit a professional. It’s okay to reach out for help and take time off too.

Sprint To The Finish Line

OMG! I am 40 and I should be married with 3 kids by now! You rush out with the first guy you meet or go on a date with and want him to be the one.

SLOW DOWN! It’s a not a race and I think to remind myself slow and steady! Take time to get to know each other, whatever that time frame is for you.

Sparkle Ladies

I do know how hard dating can be as I live it every day as well. I feel we are at an advantage in our 40’s as we don’t have time for the BS and we know what we do and don’t want.

We want to find love and we all deserve that in our lives ladies. Don’t you agree?

Let’s inspire and motivate each other! Ladies we can find love in our 40’s!

Take time to get to know yourself and really put yourself out there in a very real way.

Cheers to my fellow 40+ fantabulous ladies ! We are off to dating bliss! XO

Would love to hear your stories –




dating advice for women over 40







About Noell Romatowski

2 thoughts on “Dating Advice For Women Over 40–40s Is The New 20s

  1. As a guy in his 50’s, I can tell you who gets a second date. It’s the woman who thinks I’m interesting.

    If you look at your cell phone while talking to me, it’s our last meeting.

    If I find you interesting, I’ll ask you questions about your life – wait for my lead. And then, don’t monologue, tell me just enough that I ask for more. Don’t get too vulnerable, too early, either.

    Ultimately, most guys just want an attractive woman who respects them. Take care of that and you’ll get lots of dates.

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