DATING ADVICE TIPS–Just For WomenBy Noell Romatowski
Ladies do you feel that dating is way harder than it should be? Trust me I understand how you feel and sometimes a hot poker in the eye would feel better than going through the dating process. I have thought about giving up myself many times.
Let’s face it we all still believe in and want love. When dating is done right, with a positive attitude , you can have a fantabulous relationship. Here is the top dating advice tips to send you on your way to dating bliss!
1.HAVE A DATING STRATEGY
Really sit with yourself and figure out what you really want before you head out into the dating game. Dating strategy, might come off serious, but once you get into the dating game it can feel like a whirlwind and next thing you know your dating some dead beat who lays on the couch and plays video games all day and what you wanted was a man who likes to travel and has goals and dreams and wants to go to the gym. Sound familiar? It does to me as I have been there a time or two myself.
2.GIRL.. JUST BE THE REAL YOU
Embrace you in every way, your curves, your wrinkles just embrace and show up with confidence. We all think we should have longer hair, skinner, whiter teeth, taller, smaller thighs and a booty like JLO to get the guys, but just be the real you from the jump start. Guys do notice whether we want to think so or not. If we aren’t being authentic or trying to be someone they want us to be that’s huge turn off. Think of it this way.
Do you want to see blurry photos from the neck up or see pictures from 15 years ago or photos of his cousin instead of him? In the Huffingtonpost article, The Ugly Truth of Online Dating: Top 10 Lies Told by Internet Daters , by Greg Hodge, “Women lie more than men by 10%! With most lying about their looks.” I try to keep in mind when I interact either online, on phone or in person what would I want from him and try to do the same in return.
3.DON’T HAVE WORD VOMIT
How many of us have had word vomit? I know I have! I left a date once where I felt like I shared my entire life story to a guy I just met and spent 2 hours with! YIKES talk about him running like Forest Gump..RUNNNNNN!!! That is exactly what he did and never heard from him again. Take conversations, topics and sharing about your life in stride. Let the conversation happen in a natural organic flow.
No guy wants to sit there and be word vomited on as a man’s natural response is to be a problem solver and think you are looking for solutions too. Let him lead topics and conversations and you don’t need to tell your whole life story in the first interaction. Save some of you to be a mystery and for him to want to find out more! Less is more!
4.LISTEN TO WHAT HE SAYS….DO THE ACTIONS FOLLOW THE WORDS
Listen to what a man is saying to you. Most men will tell you everything you are asking about ..well almost everything. What we as women like to do is hear what WE want to hear and flip it, twist it and reverse it like Missy Elliot song! That is the worst way to start off getting to know someone is putting your own wanted spin on what he is saying to you. When you ask the question ,”Do you like dogs?”
And his response is,” No, not really.” Don’t walk away and say oh well he is just saying he doesn’t like dogs today, but I know he would really like my dog and I will change his mind. No, he truly doesn’t like dogs..period. As for the action part it’s very simple really. When he says he’s a punctual and follow through person and he shows up to a date late constantly or doesn’t every call when you says he will..that is not actions matching the words! Actions speak way louder than words.
5.LEAVE YOUR EX IN THE PAST
Your past is your past and it shouldn’t be brought forward into your current dating life and situation. That is why it is important to have dealt with past break ups and really be ready to be out in the dating world. No man wants to be sized up, compared and pay the price for the past ex. That will have him asking the waitress for the check please, instead of another cocktail!
6.SET BOUNDARIES OUT OF THE GATE
This ties back into having a dating advice tip of having a strategy and knowing what your boundaries are for you. Don’t waver on them and if you do that will set the tone for the relationship from that moment forward. It will become an expectation and hard to change or break. Learn to say NO if you don’t want to do something.
For example, go to the bar when you really want to stay home or don’t like sushi , but you eat it anyway to please him. Yes relationships are about compromise ,but not doing things you really don’t want to do or aren’t part of your values. Sitting and waiting for a date at restaurant for an hour while he is late that is showing him you have no issue and will wait on him. Boundaries are healthy and an essential part of dating.
7.LISTEN TO THAT GUT FEELING—RED FLAGS!
You know the one I am talking about where your eyes bulge out of your head when he says something or has yet another excuse. Listen to your feelings! How did that make you feel? That just doesn’t make sense or sit well with me. When a guy tells you every woman he has dated is crazy or had a mental illness or had “major issues” HUGE RED FLAG! We all know as women we have that extra gut feeling sense..I can’t scream from the rooftops enough..follow it! 99% of the time it is spot on! I wish I would’ve followed this advice more and saved myself some heartache and time back in my life.
8.THERE ARE PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA
Yes it’s true there are more fish in the sea! I am not saying to go out and date 5 guys at one time, if you want to that’s cool too, but don’t limit yourself to just speaking or dating to just one especially in the just getting to know each other phase. This will also help you gain clarity along the way of what you may do or don’t like in someone especially if you are new or just getting back out into dating.
9.THIS IS JUST A DATE NOT AN AUDITION FOR MARRIAGE, KIDS….
You just saw this most gorgeous guy on a dating site and you instantly start thinking OMG! We would have the most adorable kids and I know the exact wedding dress I want to wear and where we would get married…SLOW DOWN and you are putting the cart before the horse so to speak.
Bring yourself back to reality and really get to know this guy first. This is a stage where we start off doing this and we get off track of what we need to stay focused on in our questions and flags within a guy. Keep it light, fun and informative to start out and it will feel a lot more fun that way too.
10.DON’T LET IT DRAG ON
As women ,we have a hard time when we may know that point of no return. Ladies, you know the one I speaking of where he calls you ,you debate picking up the phone or you send a text saying you are busy, when really you are sitting there painting your nails and have a face mask on watching tv.
Or you start thinking I would rather be sitting on the couch watching The Bachelor, drinking glass of wine with my girlfriends and my dog than sitting here listening to him go on and on about his day at the office. Be real, keep it direct and polite. We all want to be told when there isn’t the interest there anymore. Would you want to be told that a guy was no longer interested in you? Time is precious and that way it allows both of you to move on and find that better match!
All the single ladies, do you feel you have some dating advice to go out there and tackle the dating world? I hope this advice has eased your mind and helped to align you in a good place. Remember you deserve to have it all and you are a truly fantabuolous woman! Would love to hear you from you. Please feel free to reach email@example.com
Cheers to dating bliss!
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