Love Language–Do You Know Yours?By Noell Romatowski
09.09.18-Do you know what your love language is? Do you know what the different love languages are? To learn more read this article from The Dating Bliss.
What Is Your Love Language?
Do you want to know the secret to lasting love and improving your relationships? Do you feel like you wish your partner could read your mind?
Every human needs, wants and deserves to be and feel loved. It is critical to survival and happiness. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche.
Love language, per Gary Chapman, author of the best-selling 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts consists of the following:
Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical touch
Understanding your love language and being able to share with your loved ones can help you effectively and consistently make each other feel truly and deeply loved.
Especially as a couple, if you know what makes them feel loved will make both people happy and feel content in their relationship.
People will act and react differently when they love language is being met.
The way that Chapman breaks it down by 5 languages is simplest and easy to understand. Click below to get your own copy!
A great quote from the book,” We needed love before we “fell in love”, and we will need it as long as we live.
5 Types of Love Languages
Click on the link to take the assessment to find out what your love language is: 5 Love Languages.
Gary Chapman states in the book, “People tend to criticize their partner most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.”
Read below further about each of the love languages to have a better understanding what each one entails.
Do you like hugs, kisses, touch on the arm, kiss on the forehead?
Physical touch is one of the most powerful communicators of love.
Hugging, kissing, holding hands, sexual intercourse are ways of showing and communicating love to your partner.
Understanding what your partners physical touch needs and pleasures are is important, as they may not be the same as yours.
Try new touches and new places and let your partner give you feedback if they find it pleasurable.
Feedback and communicating is critical so you can learn especially if you love language yourself is not physical touch and didn’t grow up in that type of environment.
In time of crisis, more than any other time in life, we want to feel loved.
Disappointments, death, job loss, children’s issues, accidents are going to happen in relationship and if your partners love language is touch holding them when they cry or giving them a hug is critical for them to feel loved.
Gift are symbolic of love and affection.
This love language is to not be mistaken for being materialist it is about the love, thought, meaning behind the gift.
The thought that your partner took to go out of their way to think of you, pick it out and present you with the gift means the world to you.
Missing special days such as a birthday, anniversary is disastrous to the person if this is their love language. Nothing is worse than a missed gift or telling your partner to pick out a gift and you will pay for it.
It means the lack of effort and love shown to them by doing so.
Do you want your partner to give you undivided attention?
This speaks volumes of love and affection to the love language of quality of time.
Turning off the TV, being fully present and taking time out of the day to focus on your partner.
Look into your partners eyes when they are speaking. Take a walk together and talk about your day without any distractions.
Turn off your cell phone at dinner and enjoy the person you are across the table from.
Planning a special evening, a weekend get away to be able to spend quality time with your mate means the world to them.
Quality of time is a powerful connector and time you can’t get back.
Words of Affirmation
Such comments as,”I am proud of you.” “I love you.” “You make me so happy.”‘ You look amazing”, are positive affirmations.
Words of affirmation, praise and appreciation makes your mate feel loved. Words are very powerful and make or break a person’s day.
Insults or putting down can be the worst thing for your partner to hear and also damaging to one’s ego or self-esteem.
Hearing the uplift words makes them feel appreciated, valued and cared for.
Love is kind.
What would happen kind words of affirmation were in your relationship on a daily basis?
Acts of Service
Can taking out the trash or cleaning the house show someone you love them?
Yes! For a partner who’s love language is acts of service they like to have their partner take the daily tasks and burden off their shoulders.
Actions are the most important instead of just words or touch.
There is a balance between requests give direction to love, but demanding them will stop the flow of love.
No one wants to feel like they are to be servant or maid of the house.
A partner who is lazy, doesn’t pitch in at home, broken commitments makes their partner feel unloved and frustrated.
Share Your Love Language
I know when I read this book and learned about the 5 love languages it explained a lot of my past relationships and some of the disconnection.
If you are giving a partner gifts and their love language is physical touch you won’t get the reaction you think you are to get and than you are hurt or wondering why.
Having now taking the assessment myself I can articulate to a potential partner how I like to receive love and can see how they like to as well.
It really is simple once you know and makes love and life together a bit easier!
Share your love! We have to love in the right language!
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