online dating cause depression

Online Dating–Does It Increase Depression?

By Noell Romatowski

Does online dating increase depression? Read to learn more what study’s have shown between dating and mental health. Have you tried a dating site or app? Or maybe have tried several?  The online dating industry is estimated to be $1.8 billion a year industry and increasing every year. More and more dating apps and dating sites are being created.

Mental State

I have read many articles that state that if you aren’t in a healthy mental state ,you shouldn’t be on dating sites or apps.

Part of me agrees and the single part of me thinks some of these articles aren’t written by a single person in the 2018 dating world.

An article,  in The Hill, states that 20 percent of people are lonely and one third of 45+ age group. They are saying loneliness is becoming an epidemic in this nation.

Even though social media, smart phones, dating sites are to bring us closer together it has severely contributed to the loneliness factor.

We are social beings that require human connection, touch and in person interactions.

40% of Americans are online dating and over 50% of these online users are men. In addition, 50% of users that are using online dating, lie on their dating profiles profiles.WAIT …WHAT!!!

That is depressing in itself that the percentage of people lying in their profiles from their age, job, height, weight and to the year of the photo they use. Dating is hard enough!

Increase In Rejection

Have you swiped left? Not replied to an email on a dating site? Let’s face it rejection sucks and can really do a number on one’s self esteem and ego. It’s tough ,as I have had both happen to me as I sure you have and I have swiped left and not replied as well.

Forbes magazine article stated that rejection and physical pain release the same natural chemical from the brain.

Getting punched in the face and getting rejected can feel similar.

Sometimes dating can feel like you are getting sucked into a middle of tornado, spun around and tossed back out! Those moments of rejection can leave a life long lasting impression on someone.

Check out this You Tube video:

It states on line dating  can lower self esteem and increases depression. It was a study that was done about the dating app Tinder.

I agree with the fact that in a bar or gym you can be rejected once, that’s hard enough, but on dating apps and sites it can be multiple times in a day or evening.

It can be hard when you never get matched with anyone and feel like you are being swiped off the dating planet! Do you agree?


Swipe Left..Who’s Next

The online dating sites and even more so the dating apps make it so easy to say NEXT! If you don’t get the response you like or in the timeframe you want ,you can keep looking or swiping, to find the next target to reach out to.

Think how many people get swiped left in seconds??

Most of the dating apps ,people just put pictures and no information about themselves ,which most people are purely swiping off looks.

Is it about growing a tough skin, like some say? Or that people are just rude and we should get over it ?

Someone sent me a message saying, “Oh hey, I just wanted you to know that the comment on your photo stating ,”You are so beautiful,” was meant for someone else.”

Pump the brakes…REALLY!

WOW ,I had to reread the email a few times and did have to share with a few people close to me. I didn’t waste my energy to reply, but I would have loved to ask him the question,” Do you wonder why you are still single?”

I am not going to lie ,it did sting for a few minutes and glad I had close people I could share it with. I am using these relatable stories to share with you and even more so to write articles like these!

It does go back to apps and dating sites give the ability for people to reject people at lighting speed and more often.

Think if you get several of those douchebag comments in the day? Or if you are already having an off day and you receive that message?

Never hearing back from any of your swipes, likes, winks or emails can be extremely tough to take. With such apps as Tinder where it is all visual it can affect ones body image and self esteem.


Addicted To Dating

As we all know, in the past few years therapists not only are helping people with drug and alcohol addictions, but now phone, social media and even addictions to dating.

Many can get addicted to having several outlets to look for that “perfect” person, that we all know deep down doesn’t exist.

They never make it past a first date or even conversation as the search becomes obsessive.

One can become infatuated with checking their dating sites and apps. It can take over your day and life just like any addiction.

Match’s Single in America survey states that within 5000 various aged daters, one out of six feel addicted to the process of finding a date. 125 percent of millennials say the are addicted to going on dates with new people.

If you are going on first dates every single night of  the week and never having a second date, for 4 months straight, it may be safe to say you are addicted to dating.

Addiction is linked to low self esteem, depression, anxiety and mood disorders.

Addiction to dating could be an article written in itself.

Final Swipe

When you do read a lot of the statistics and research done on dating and correlation to depression there is a lot of valid points and information.

We all know that we are never going to go back to the day with no internet or cell phones. This reality is something all of us who are looking for love will have to deal with everyday.

I do think it is so important to have a good balance in your life.

Dating, gym, hobbies, friends and fun to make sure you living a well rounded life. Having a good healthy support system in your life is key.

Always focus on your happiness and your emotional health. Checking in with yourself about how you are feeling and if you need to take a break from the dating world …DO IT!

Remember to always treat others like you want to be treated. As Aretha Franklin says , R-E-S-P-E-C-T!


The Dating Bliss

Click below to take the quiz..




About Noell Romatowski

2 thoughts on “Online Dating–Does It Increase Depression?

  1. I used to be such a hypocrite when it came to judging people by their looks. Im not that handsome myself, and it hurt when others rejected me, yet, I found myself dismissing people by the way they looked and doing the exact same thing. Now that I’m older I find my idea of beauty has changed. Looks are less important these days, kindness, humour, and a good heart are more attractive to me. Either way, it’s important not to put too much emphasis on how we’ve been judged, the first step to finding real love is to love yourself. No one can swipe that away.

    1. Noell Romatowski says:

      Love that! NO ONE can swipe away your self esteem and love for yourself!! So true and thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! Laughter, respect and fun are high on my list too:)!

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