Signs Of A Narcissist–Are You Dating One?By Noell Romatowski
Explore this article by The Dating Bliss to see the signs of a narcissist and are you dating one? Are you dating someone who is extremely selfish? Ego maniac? Control freak? Manipulator? Read more below!
What Is The Definition Of A Narcissist?
A narcissist is an extremely self-centered person who has an exaggerated sense of self-importance. A complete false sense of self and a low self-esteem.
They have a sense of entitlement, grandiosity, extreme attention seeking and very antagonist.
In Pyschology Today article, it is simply described as a person who is completely in love with him or herself.
The craziest part of it all it’s not even close to who they are at all. They project this image to really hide from the reality of self.
Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing
Have you ever heard of a wolf in sheeps clothing? From Wikipedia, it is in summary a person who plays a role contrary to their real character and can be potentially dangerous.
Sweet, caring, loving, charming and so tentative to you as you feel euphoric and on cloud nine! You feel like you have met that match of your dreams! As time goes on you start to see their actions not match their words.
Whom they stated they were, begins to have holes in their statements and actions can be shocking . It may all become very confusing to have this amazing person in the beginning, whom can slowly or suddenly start to morph, into someone else right before your eyes.
Let’s explore the signs of a narcissist. Remember these are just a few of the main signs of a narcissist and there a few different types of narcissist, which is for another article.
You can tell a narcissist until you are blue in the face that you don’t care to do something or try to establish a boundary with them and it just doesn’t matter. They have no sense of other people’s feelings, belongings and space.
They will insist, push and sometimes even go about doing whatever it is they want to do. If you do try to establish boundaries with a narcissist there is usually hell to pay for doing so.
It will turn into them blaming, shaming and projecting on to you.
I was having a conversation with an ex, where I was sharing with him a very deep moment, as I had gotten some medical tests ran. I was very emotional, crying and of course you want to have your significant others support.
To my surprise he started to talk about his work and the drama he had there! He seriously didn’t skip a beat! There was literally no emotion of me sharing my intense medical issue and me crying.
He proceeded to talk and carry on with what he wanted to discuss. I never got to finish my story or got any type of empathy or support from him.
Even when I told him I wasn’t finished talking to him he simply said that he was busy now and didn’t find what I was saying was really all that important.
It is shocking and heartbreaking experience to deal with someone who is so insensitive and lacks empathy.
Narcissist have extreme anxiety and if you are person like myself, who reads others energy, they are very intense, high-strung individuals.
They are constantly worried, busy body’s, who can’t seem to every chill out, be present or truly relax. There is never a down moment with these individuals.
Their high anxiety comes from having to constantly cover and make sure no one sees the real person behind the mask
A conversation is supposed to go two ways and it has a flow that goes back and forth from the 2 people involved right? A narcissist high jacks the conversation and makes it all about themselves.
You will never feel heard or be able to have a meaningful and robust conversation with a narcissist.
You will feel like you always have to sit and listen, sometimes for hours to them brag, talk about their issues and drama in their life.
Let’s just call the narcissist the intense interrupter! They are constantly seeking attention no matter if it is for something good or bad.
They are interrupting to brag or tell their side of the story. They never have any true intention of caring about your opinion or what you have to share or say EVER!
6-Never A Team Player
A narcissist can be a down right dirty player and never a team player. They don’t get along with others at work and always complaining that everyone is out to get them or are jealous of them.
Whether they are at work or at home the sense of team is always me, myself and I. Those 3 people are what they consider to be on their team and the only ones they care about!
Narcissist will always figure out a way to make something happen for themselves even if it is breaking the rules. Stepping on toes, no tipping, stealing from work, breaking the law and throwing people under the bus is all part of getting what they want.
They consider it to be part of life and how it works. Why do I have to follow the rules? They weren’t meant for me as I am an exception or special.
Or my favorite is I deserve it..so what if I had to bend or break the rules a little!!
Is he or she literally the best at everything they do? From their job, hobbies, being a parent or sports they play. Constantly portraying they are THE best and no one can beat them or outshine them EVER!
There is a deep sense of grandiosity and they truly deserve constant praise and adoration from others because they are just that amazing 100% of the time!
“I am pretty awesome at everything and all that I touch turns to gold,” does that sound familiar?
9-Ultimate Name Dropper
I went on a date once where this guy must have name-dropped 10-15 times in a matter of 30 minutes in our one sided conversation.
They know all these famous people, partied, are somehow related to them, talked to them, dated, work out together, went to school with them..you get my drift!
It is beyond annoying and a sign of narcissist! Check PLEASE…I never saw that guy again!
10-Just So Much Drama
Drama should be part of their name! There will be tons of it and I mean tons of it. It will start to unravel right before your eyes.
Make sure to pay attention to the stories they may have shared in the beginning and what you start to see, feel and hear.
From situations at work, crazy ex’s and bosses, issues with family members the common denominator in the all the situations will be THEM!
Boats, planes, homes, clothes, the latest and greatest of literally everything! A narcissist is flashy and wants to have the best of the best and show it off to the world.
A good way to see this sign is if they have a lot of “things”, but also complain or you see they don’t have a lot money.
That means they would rather spend their money to be able to “show” people what they have instead of saying I can’t afford that or I can wait to have that.
it’s all about the perception of whom they want others to see of them.
12- Likes, Likes and more Likes
Social media frenzy! They love it and can’t get enough of it. The more people that like or comment on their posts the better. They are constantly on social media posting or seeing who liked their posts.
It is extremely important to them and this can even consume the narcissist! Most times their posts will not include the person they are dating and if it does it is for a certain reason.
Their social media is all about them! They love and seek that ego feeding attention.
When writing a Facebook post becomes more important to post while driving your car or having dinner with your significant other that is a very bad sign and huge deal breaker!
13-Appearance Is Everything
Lies and deceit, a narcissist will do just about anything to make sure their appearance is seen the way they want others to see it at all times. Being Always the center of attention and making it all about them.
When you are out in public and with friends everyone can see them as so charismatic and well put together.
The truth be told you see a completely different hot mess of a person at home and most won’t believe you if you told them otherwise.
Your life can go from a calm and happy place to truly feeling like you just had a wrecking ball come swinging into your life when you meet a narcissist. They will swing into your life taking full advantage of you.
In all areas of your life and who you thought you were, can be completely turned and twisted into something you don’t even recognize.
Even spending time with a narcissist you can go from a moment of fun to feeling like being in hell would be a better place.
15-Don’t Criticize Me
Approaching a narcissist is like walking through a land mine. You never know what you are going to get! Even if what you are saying is right or you have solid facts behind what you are saying, it won’t matter,
I will repeat it one more time, it seriously won’t matter!
When criticized they become like a small wounded child. They get defensive, combative and will simply turn it around and blame you. They will go into what they call a “narcissist rage.”
What went from having a simple discussion will turn into a tornado and you will somehow be the one saying you are sorry just to put an end to the misery.
Narcissist live in a complete world of fantasy. It can be about wealth, power, success, a job and even obtaining the most perfect partner. They feel, want and deserve the best of everything life has to offer.
These fantasies are a way to fend off their feelings of loneliness, despair, emptiness and to feel special and in ultimate control. it is a distraction from reality.
If they don’t get their fantasies met, they can turn into a raging angry lunatic as these fantasies are THEIR true reality.
Don’t Walk, Run
If you are dating a narcissist I politely and kindly say don’t walk, RUN! Really sit with this article and also do some of your own research as there is a ton of great information on narcissism.
Talk to a friend, therapist, family member and really educate yourself as much as possible.
Don’t allow yourself to get sucked into their web and isolate yourself from friends and family. That is what they want so they can have full control of you and the situation.
I am hoping this article helps with even just one person. I know once I started learning about what a narcissist truly was I not only dated them, but you start realize they are all over the place. They can be former friends, coworkers and family members.
Remember to always take care of YOU first and the only person you can control is YOU!
You can get you and your life back if you are currently with one of these vampires!
Most importantly you are never ever alone in this journey called life!
Would love to hear from you! You can reach me at email@example.com
CLICK BELOW here are some great books to educate yourself more on narcissists: