Toxic Masculinity-What Are The Signs?By Noell Romatowski
08.26.18-What are the signs of toxic masculinity? What is it? Why does it happen? Read this article to get a better understanding and knowledge on toxic masculinity.
What Is Toxic Masculinity?
Masculinity is good, real and biological. It has different definitions around the world.
In society, we assign both male and female’s with certain traits.
Where it becomes toxic is when it stems from rejection of the perceived opposite, femininity.
Some men become hyper-masculine and over-emphasize their dominance in order to regain control and maintain patriarchy, but in a very unhealthy way to themselves and those around them.
Mostly women and children are affected by toxic masculinity with abuse and all various types of violence. Men can also be victims of this as well.
Toxic masculinity affects the emotional, intellectual and cognitive levels and growth in men.
We have all heard that isn’t a manly thing to feel, say or do. No crying, no hugging, or sharing your true feelings.
Even at young age if a boy likes pink or wants a doll they told “no” because that’s not masculine.
It becomes shameful and that starts to create that motion of toxic masculinity.
Being taught or told to reject any feminine trait a man may feel or have within him.
Understanding how important these feminine traits are such as understanding, empathy helps one to get along with society, many can be made fun of if they show these feminine traits.
Signs of Toxic Masculinity
Men are taught they are to be strong alpha leaders in every situation no matter what.
If pushed too much and often told these types of statements they feel like they can’t be their own person. They start to lose their identity and their environment starts to become very toxic.
This can also lead to men having high levels of social isolation, loneliness, depression, addictions, suicidal behavior, stress and substance abuse.
Now let’s look at some signs of toxic masculinity:
Extreme Desire To Win
Have you heard that statement I will go for the jugular or will step on anyone’s toes to win?
There is an unhealthy and extreme desire to win, no matter what. I DO NOT lose mentality.
It is an obsession to win in every area of their life whether it be work, home, relationships and even a simple conversation.
The idea of being manly or a man is tied to winning literally EVERYTHING.
Sexual Aggression & Devaluing Women
This is probably the biggest sign of toxic masculinity.
Toxic men look at women as “objects” that completely exist to please them in any way they want, where they want and when they want.
The result can be sexual coercion, abuse, and harassment of women.
There has become even more subtle ways in society of this being acceptable behavior.
From whistling and calling women names,to grabbing her in places she shouldn’t be grabbed in public.
I had a guy once grab me on the dupa and he told me I should like it as it was a compliment for him to do that.
Many laugh and think these types of things are jokes. It’s devaluing and objectifying women.
We are human, we have equal value and we do have feelings.
Have you met a man who thinks he is never wrong, has an ego that doesn’t quit and wants to dominate every conversation or situation?
Narcissism is self-love, egotistical admiration for one’s own attributes.
Grandiosity, entitlement, dominance, and superiority to the unhealthy levels.
Please read more on narcissism–Signs Of A Narcissist-Are You Dating One?
Controlling and Possessive
Men are always to be in control, is what society pushes. Providers and protectors as these traits can drive a man to be very controlling and possessive in their environment.
This can go as far as if they feel they are losing control or possession of even a person whom they are married or dating this can cause them to go to the extremes.
Stalking, physical abuse and anger can be sparked.
Someone loving and caring is not someone who wants to control or possess you in any way. Please don’t get them confused.
Self Made Man
This may sound like a good term to some, but to a point. Being a man and being able to handle your own business, be responsible and have your life together is one thing.
It is an entirely different thing to feel like you have the world on your shoulders and you have to make it all happen.
They never ask or allow anyone to help them with anything in their life. They would rather painfully struggle than ask for help.
It is a sign of weakness to ask for help in their mind, even when they desperately need it.
Have you ever a met a man whom never show emotions even when something bad happens?
They can’t show emotions or remove themselves from their manliness even for a moment.
Men are supposed to be powerful and crying is the opposite of that emotion, a true sign of weakness.
I cringe every time I am out in the world and I hear the words,”Stop crying. Boys don’t cry.” Or I have been around men who apologize for crying or tell themselves to man up and don’t being a wimp.
Studies show, that expressing your feelings and emotions is natural, therapeutic, reduces stress, blood pressure and can make you feel more part of society.
Be Your Own Man
Toxic masculinity is sad, vicious and can make not make only the man suffer, but all those around him. It can be helped and prevented.
Starting with a younger child, you can still help develop a healthier masculine mindset.
As an adult male, It is very serious as you don’t know what one could be thinking and the depths their toxicity level has gone.
It can cause them such things as job losses, divorces, serial dating and even trouble with the law.
Having a conversation or expressing your concerns to your loved one can be hard to do, but you never know what that could do for them.
I guarantee they are living not a happy, healthy life and would like their life to be toxic free!
Would love to hear from you–firstname.lastname@example.org