What Is Grief? How Do You Cope After A Loss Or A Breakup?

By Noell Romatowski

What is grief? How do you cope after a loss or a breakup? Read further this article from The Dating Bliss to uderstand how to manage and work through grief.

What Is Grief?

Wikipedia describes grief is a multifaceted response to a loss to which a bond or affection was formed.

There are many responses to a loss besides the emotional response as there is the physical, spiritual , social ,behaviorial ,cultural, and philosophical dimension.

Everyone has their own way, time and means to how they manage their grief. Each person has their own journey and grief process some may be healthy or unhealthy. We all just try to manage and move through the grief.

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Types Of Loss

Life brings us many losses and heart break. We feel empty, overwhelmed and not sure how to manage our feelings.

Here are some types of loss we can face once or several times throughout our lives:

Death of a pet

Death of a spouse or a loved one

Losing a job

Divorce , seperation or break up

Chronic illness or sudden injury

So the next question is how do we cope and live with our grief in a healthy way?

How To Cope with Grief?

To be able to be mentally healthy ,you have to deal with your grief. To ignore it, is a quick path to a dark place of possible addiction and extremely unhealthy and unhappy life that keeps you stuck in your grief.

1-Allow yourself to grieve. 

Don’t think you have to be better in a day, a week or a month. It is very individual and feel what it is you are feeling. Cry if you need to cry.

2-Talk about your loss and grief with caring people

Find that friend, family member or therapist who will listen and show love and understanding of your loss. In addition finding a support group can also be helpful. Do not isolate yourself from your loved ones or the world.

 

 

3-Live in the present and in the moment

It is very easy to get stuck in the past and relive those moments instead of living your current life.

4-Take care of your health

Try to maintain a good diet, exercise and get plenty of rest. Watch yourself if you start to slip into unhealthy habits such as too much alcohol or over eating or any unbalance to cope.

5-Don’t make any big life changes

I know that uncomfortable feeling and we want to make a change to let our focus be on something else instead of our loss. Give yourself time beofre making decisions on a career change, moving , getting married or having another baby.

6-Be patient with self

The best thing you can do for yourself is be gentle to yourself and listen to your body closely. A loss can take months or years to absorb that your life has forever changed. Those who tell you “you will get over it”, do not listen to them or their lack of empathy.

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7-Seek help from a professional

First get rid of any idea or notion that getting professional help is for the weak. It takes courage and self love to get help from a professional when you need it. I wouldn’t have gotten through so many losses in my life if it wasn’t for an amazing therapist to help guide me through my grief.

I remind myself daily, one day and one moment at a time.

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Support To Help

There are so many great books and tools to support grief and loss.

The below books and websites are one’s I have personal read to help me support me in my life.

The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully by Frank Ostaseski and Naomi Remen M.D.

The Grief Recovery Handbook, The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses including Health, Career and Faith by  John W. James and Russell Friedman

Grief Day By Day: Simple Practices and Daily Guidance for Living with Loss by Jan Warner

My Grief Angels–My Grief Angels’ (“MGA”) mission is to help each of us grieving to help ourselves by leveraging the power of technology to access the latest grief research, education, resources and community-building tool. Click on the link to go to their website.


Crisis hotline numbers—https://www.starcana.com/1-800-crisis-numbers/

One Day At A Time

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In the past two years of my life, I have lost two jobs, ended a serious relationship, moved across country and most recently lost my father to Lewy Body Dementia ,the demon disease.

There were plenty of days, nights and weeks I just wanted to sit and cry, cry and cry some more. Crying is healthy and good to do ,but I knew I had to keep moving forward some way ,some how.

This article was extremely therapeutic to write and a great reminder to myself dealing with my grief and loss.

How do you deal with loss and manage your grief?

Loss will happen in our lives we can’t avoid it, but how can we manage our grief in a healthy way is always in our control.

One day and one moment at a time. Breathe and love life every single moment we get.

XOXO

Would love to hear from you noell@thedatingbliss.com.

About Noell Romatowski

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